we're chasing vodka with high fives
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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