i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
