he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
