it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
