Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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