I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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