If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
