His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
