I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
