Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
