Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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