It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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