i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
