ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
4 words: hood of his car
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
