how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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