Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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