Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
