I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
