Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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