she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
