This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
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