So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
