he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
