No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
