she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
