Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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