Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
