he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
