Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
