Kiss
Puke
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
