I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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