I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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