you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
