She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
