i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
