He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
