Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
