Kareoke will never be a sober sport
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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