Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
