My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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