i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
