there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
