I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sponge bath it is.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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