dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
