i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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