If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
