Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
