its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
