Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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