dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
