Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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