piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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