I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
