Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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