Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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