Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
