need another drink. this is the easiest way
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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