Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
