I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize