Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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