That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
