my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
