i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize