just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
