At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
