That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
