new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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