I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
