Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
